It is the last day in March, 2011. There are 43 days until my college graduation. Which means there are 44 days until I am supposed to become a fully functional member of society.
I have never been so unprepared for anything in my entire life.
Perhaps I sound a bit over dramatic, as I have a tendency to be, but that doesn't change what I'm feeling right now. I have spent the past eighteen years of my life in the classroom. Eighteen years having a teacher tell me what I should be learning and what I should be studying. Eighteen years having a daily schedule that needed to be followed. Every day students are complaining about their time in school and wishing it would go by quickly so they can have a "real life." Well, I'm secretly hoping that the next 43 days drag on as long as possible. It's not that I don't want to graduate and move on with my life, I truly am excited for the next step, what terrifies me is the fact that I have no idea what that next step is going to be. Yes, I do have a wide range of options available to me, but I still need to send out applications and determine what I really want my future to be like. This is terrifying.
Should I start actively searching for a teaching position? Should I go to Boston with my friend Julie and look for work? Should I keep my fingers crossed that I get accepted to the Master's program at Dublin City University? Should I apply for that working visa to Australia or New Zealand or Ireland? Should I stick around town and just try to make money for a year or two? Should I go teach English in South Korea for a year? Should I sell everything I can and just travel to wherever the wind takes me?
See what I mean? Lots of options...and no direction.
I think part of my problem is I have all these ideas and plans, but they're all just jumbled in my brain right now. I need to get it all out on paper (or, in this case, screen) therefore giving me a better view of what I can do after I receive that SUNY Geneseo diploma. Hence, (*drumroll please*) a new blog! I figure this would be a good way to just get things out there that need to be sorted out in my life, and maybe I can gather some new advice on situations at hand. Regardless, this blog is for me. I probably won't write very often, and I definitely won't write as much as I am right now, but I'll do whatever is fitting to my own life and my own schedule. It will be incoherent at times (as you may have already noticed), but it's me, and I am a little incoherent anyways.
On that note, it's time to go order my cap and gown. Like I said, the next 43 days are going to be absolutely terrifying. However, like my good friend Jon always says, scared is just another way of saying excited.
Peace and Love.
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