Apologies

I've been away far too long. I keep thinking of all these things to write about and then just never have time to do so. Of course, now is one of those times, so this will be quick. Just a fast update on where things stand at this current moment in time:

• I have three part-time jobs. I waitress at a casino, I work at a community college and I work for an orthopedic surgeon out of town. Needless to say, that's where most of my time goes.
• When I'm not working I try to see friends, spend time with family, unpack from college (believe it or not, it's been six months and that still hasn't been done) and try new things. It's quite hectic.
• It's been almost six months to the day since graduation and I have fully paid off all of my loans...on my own. I'm pretty proud about that!
• I took a side trip to Boston to check out Northeastern for graduate school. I fell in love...and got a part-time job offer! I also went to New York City to visit my old roommate. It was the most wonderful break I could have ever asked for.
• I'm going to New Orleans in January...I just need to come up with the money for transportation...

That's the brief synopsis for now. Hopefully I can get my act together and post sooner rather than later, ha.

Peace and Love.

Shaking Things Up

I can honestly say that life has been insane lately.

Seriously, I can't even process some of the things that have happened to me in the last few weeks. It's almost like I'm having these out-of-body experiences...I'm witnessing myself do things I never ever dreamed I would do. In reality, I should stop being so surprised by this. I have a tendency of saying that about a lot of the things I've done this past year...but it's all so true! I've come a long way since the Europe adventure of Summer 2010 and I'm glad to know, that at age 22, I'm still surprising myself almost daily. It's actually rather nice.

Over the Canada Day/Fourth of July weekend I went to the Toronto Couch Crash (basically a big couch surfing festival, and it was Gay Pride weekend as well.) My friend Julie and I went together, experiencing our first night of formal surfing. It was a blast! Our host, Stephanie, was fabulous and we met so many amazing people. I could sit here and write about each and every one of them, but that's rather time consuming (and it's getting pretty late, this lady needs to work in the AM.) We did meet a group of awesome people from Rochester though. Two of the fellas, Joe and Greg, both live in a co-op house in Rochester. I've since been up to visit twice, taking part in their monthly vegetarian/vegan potluck last week and attending trivia at the Old Toad last night. I've met a lot of really rockin' people through these meet-ups, and I'm wicked stoked to expand my horizons right now. Both Joe and Greg are really interesting as well, I enjoy talking to the both of them and learning all sorts of different things from them.

Anyways, I'm just really excited about where my life is at the moment and the direction it, at least, seems to be heading in. I was reflecting on the last 22 years and, while they've been solid, it's this past one that has really had such a resounding impact on me and has shaken things up so much. I'm definitely ready to see what the next few steps are going to be! I've got big plans, and nothing's going to get in the way this time!

Oh, also, I'm finally learning Italian! Well, I think I am at least. Joe and I were discussing it last night, I plan on definitely following through with this (it will make my current plans go much smoother!)

Peace and Love.

Childhood and Gratitude

Nothing quite reminds you of your childhood like watching the fireworks on the fourth of July. This was my first fourth of July stateside in numerous years. While I didn't have a voice (courtesy of my epic Couch Surfing weekend in Toronto), I still went to the local Muckdogs baseball game with my brother and some friends. The game was nice and all, but it was when my brother leaned over to tell me a joke that only we would get, seeing as it was from firework-watching when we were young, that my heart just melted.

I'm so proud to be from this country. I'm so happy to have grown up in the city I did. I'm scared and excited and ready for the next step in my life...but, thankfully, Monday reminded me that home will always be ready and waiting for my return. There's nothing you could tell me is more important than little moments like that.

Peace and Love.

365 Days

It's funny how much one year can change things. A year ago from yesterday, so 366 days ago, I embarked on the adventure of a lifetime. I drove to Toronto and said goodbye to my family, boarding a plane with a girl I had really only met once before, and flew to London. It was the start of our three-week epic backpacking adventure. In three weeks we visited eight cities and four countries (technically you could add one more on to each of those numbers-I now have a Canada stamp in my passport!) It was the most insane, wonderful, memorable trip in my entire life. That trip changed everything for me.

I know people say things like that all the time, but in this instance, for me, it's true. I left on that adventure with a steady boyfriend I thought I would spend forever with, heading into my senior year of college preparing for a future of teaching adolescents history, determined to stay within the safe confines of what I know in this area, and not really knowing a thing about myself (albeit I didn't realize at the time that I didn't know myself just yet.) This trip became one of self-discovery. I discovered who I was meant to be...who I've been all along, but was too afraid to unleash on this world for whatever reasons. I spent three weeks being the person I always dreamed about being, and I loved every single minute of it.

I came home from that trip and a series of things happened solidifying these changes. First off, I split with the boyfriend. We really weren't meant for each other. In all honesty, we simply grew apart. No hard feelings, he was having the same thoughts I was and we were both relieved when there were no hearts that ended up breaking. Following this I decided to still get my degree in teaching (I was only one year away), but I decided that my master's would be achieved in a whole different type of degree. Currently I'm looking into Global Studies/International Affairs, Humanities, and International Peace and Conflict Resolution Studies. I'm looking into traveling the globe and helping as many people as I'm capable of helping. Not to say I didn't share some of these sentiments before my trip (I've always loved helping people), but this time I decided to pursue it as a field of study and make it my life.

I'm losing my train of thought (and continue to repeat myself), my apologies. My dad's 40th High School Reunion meeting is taking place at our place tonight (yes I'm living at home...typical post-grad life) and now that everyone is showing up the noise makes it hard to focus. Side note: pandora radio station (mine's set to Mumford and Sons with a taste of Noah and the Whale) helps me get back on track and feel a tidbit more relaxed.

So I think the main point of this is to say that 366 days ago, I began a new leg in the journey of life that has since helped me discover the Sara I was always afraid to let show. I LOVE this version of myself. I'm the happiest I think I've ever been in my entire life as a whole. I mean, I've had lots of happy things happen in my life previously, but this is the first time I've been so continuously and genuinely happy since I was a little kid and didn't know any of the trials and tribulations of life. I'm confident, happy, outgoing and generally optimistic. One of the cooks at work has since started calling me Sunshine and a few of the others have started pointing out how I'm so damn happy all the time (see previous post: Hidden Talents.) I went to a party Friday night and spent time with a group from Buffalo I had not seen since the Bills game I attended (and blacked out at) the day after Christmas this past year and even they noted differences. The Jewish fella kept stating that he couldn't believe I was the same girl from the Bills game...in a good way. These may all seem like little itty bitty pieces, but put together with everything else and they mean so much. Ahhh, I can't even continue with this because I'm getting all nostalgic and happy and NOTHING IS MAKING SENSE. Ha, this is getting a bit ridiculous-all in a good way of course. My thoughts are just flowing at this point and I'm not even worried about logic or coherence at this point.

Once again, let's turn the attention back to my three week backpacking excursion. That girl I mentioned, the one I didn't even really actually know prior to our departure, well she's now my best friend. She's brought out wonderful things in me and helped me realize that life is too short to be miserable. There's just no sense in that. We bonded quickly and still laugh uncontrollably about things that happened on our adventure. I'm grinning rather stupidly right now reminiscing about a few things :) I believe that nostalgic filled wonderfulness is the perfect way to leave this post. So I'm just going to bullet a few things here and will apologize right away because none of you will ever understand the full scope of awesomeness behind these events-although if you ask me about them, I'll go into full-scale storytelling mode (which I almost won a contest for in the fourth grade...almost) and you'll get to enjoy it a lot more than reading these points. Cheers!

• Sleeping in a youth hostel in London, on one of the terrace streets, sharing the room with a 40+ year old woman who thought laughter was rude and Julie had some sort of a disorder because we found humor in everything. Oh, she also banged on the wall next to my head to try to quiet my snoring. Ha, stupid woman, there really is no need to try and prove stereotypes true.
• Crazy Germans. Crazy, wonderful Germans who snuck out of their hotels while on a school trip and partied with us instead. This was also the night I was a neurosurgeon attending Brown and Julie was a rocket scientist from MIT. One day Jules...one day.
• IRELAND! IRELAND! IRELAND! IRELAND! IRELAND! IRELAND! IRELAND!
• Falling in love, teasing, could-be movie lines, and drinking copious amounts of alcohol. All in the beautiful land of Erin. Making those flighty Irish fellas nervous as hell and chain-smoke like crazy. Showing them how American girls really are and enjoying every minute of it. Making wonderful friends we'll never forget and lettings out true personalities finally come out. We were both fighting back tears the day we left.
• Venice. Stunning architecture and amazing canals. Convincing Julie not to throw up in the canals and remembering why I will always love Italy.
• Florence, oh Florence. Climbing a mountain on accident and legitimately spending our first night there in camping in a tent. Oh Florence, I will never forget you.
• Roma! My third visit to, I do believe, my most favorite city in Europe. Playing tour guide, making dates through barred windows and pretending to speak Italian the more I drank. Teasing poor Gianni so much he drank himself into a stupor and relieved himself on the Vatican. I threw my coin in Trevi and pray to God I'll return at least once more.
• Partying on a beach in Pescara with a handful of Russians and a bunch of Italians-including Dean Martin's great-grandson. Best part: we're still in touch with all of them :)
• 24 hours in Frankfurt, partying like rock stars with the best Irishmen we could have met. Setting hotel rooms on fire (there was only a few holes in the carpet), dining and dashing (we paid most of the bill) and spending the most romantic evening ever sitting on a rooftop and gazing at the skyline at night. Did I mention we stayed above a virgin girl bar and next to the world of sex? This was the paradigm of the vagabond lifestyle we acquired during these three weeks.

Did I mention we did all of this in the midst of the world cup? It truly is the best time to travel the world. I can't wait for Brazil 2014.

I think I summed this up as best I could, for now. I'm still working on finishing the journal (365 days may be a long time, but it can also feel incredibly short.) In a nutshell: I'm the happiest I've ever been, as a whole, right now. I love everything that's happened to me and I love who I am. I'm so excited for all the opportunities that await me and I can't wait to take this world by storm...not to mention all the wonderful strangers I'll soon meet because, let's face it, great things happen when you meet strangers.

Peace and Love.

Hidden Talents

Well it's been over a month since my last post and so much has happened since then. I've graduated from Geneseo, moved back home, started two part-time jobs and, hesitantly and slowly, began the long and painful process of job searching and graduate school applications. Needless to say, I've been slacking. I don't like the fact that I have to decide what to do for the rest of my life at 22 years of age. I don't even know what I'm going to be doing in a week let alone in ten years! However, that's a conversation for another day.

I have so much to write about and discuss, and will attempt to be more diligent as time progresses, but I want to start this off by writing down a poem. One of my jobs is as a waitress for the casino and racetrack here in my hometown and it's obviously not very glamorous. Regardless, I have fun with it, going in with a smile every day and engaging in different kinds of conversations with my coworkers and customers. I'm particularly a fan of those who work in the kitchen. I could easily spend my entire shift in there talking with the cooks and others because they're all just so interesting. Maybe it's this sociological lens I view the world through, but I find these people extremely intriguing. For example, take Scott. If I happened to pass this guy on the street, or saw him sitting at a bar, I bet there's no way in hell we'd ever strike up a conversation. It's not that he's this scary looking fella or anything, I mean, you know how you can just tell if you're going to befriend someone? I hate stereotyping situations because I was all about breaking them in high school, and college for that matter (if you could see the friends I had/have from those stage crue days...you would know exactly what I mean-they were actually similar to Scott now that I think about it), but I think I'd be rather intimidated of Scott if I randomly met him out somewhere. Actually, I was very intimidated by him when I first started working at the restaurant. Anyways, I'm glad I got the chance to work with him and get to know him a little better, he's probably the most interesting person I've met there. He has all these facts on Vikings and Egyptology and Pagan symbolism, etc. Just all sorts of things that I've always been a bit curious about but never really got too far into (perhaps this is why I find him to be the most interesting.)

I'm getting way off topic here. Basically, Scott's this really interesting guy and today he wrote me a poem (I say "me" because he gave it to me, but he could've just written it down and...that's a long roundabout story I just don't feel like typing.) The jist of it is, I think it's good. It's a very good poem and I wanted to write it down just how it was given to me and have a copy just in case the paper it's written on ever gets misplaced (I think the grease stains on the paper just gives it more character.)

as season pass

and sands go bye

we search and sieze

all that we can find

for happiness in hands

we grasp

and watch our world

as all callapse

we tread and walk

in shoes for miles

and for one another

at, ease we smile


Peace and Love.

Today I Am Thankful For...

I started this blog as a way to get my thoughts out...but for some strange reason I've been neglecting posting until I come up with "just the right" thing to say or way to phrase my thoughts. I remembered just now that it doesn't matter if it sounds perfect, this is for me and I should just write. So, while this will be very brief (I'm about to go to bed), I would like to post two quick things. One: I am officially done with classes for my undergraduate career. Crazy, right!? Two: I'm a very fortunate person, and I'm thankful for everything that's ever happened in my life. My family, my friends, my travels, my education, my opportunities. I couldn't imagine my life any other way. I'm so excited to see what the next step is.

Peace and Love.

A New Start

It is the last day in March, 2011. There are 43 days until my college graduation. Which means there are 44 days until I am supposed to become a fully functional member of society.

I have never been so unprepared for anything in my entire life.

Perhaps I sound a bit over dramatic, as I have a tendency to be, but that doesn't change what I'm feeling right now. I have spent the past eighteen years of my life in the classroom. Eighteen years having a teacher tell me what I should be learning and what I should be studying. Eighteen years having a daily schedule that needed to be followed. Every day students are complaining about their time in school and wishing it would go by quickly so they can have a "real life." Well, I'm secretly hoping that the next 43 days drag on as long as possible. It's not that I don't want to graduate and move on with my life, I truly am excited for the next step, what terrifies me is the fact that I have no idea what that next step is going to be. Yes, I do have a wide range of options available to me, but I still need to send out applications and determine what I really want my future to be like. This is terrifying.

Should I start actively searching for a teaching position? Should I go to Boston with my friend Julie and look for work? Should I keep my fingers crossed that I get accepted to the Master's program at Dublin City University? Should I apply for that working visa to Australia or New Zealand or Ireland? Should I stick around town and just try to make money for a year or two? Should I go teach English in South Korea for a year? Should I sell everything I can and just travel to wherever the wind takes me?

See what I mean? Lots of options...and no direction.

I think part of my problem is I have all these ideas and plans, but they're all just jumbled in my brain right now. I need to get it all out on paper (or, in this case, screen) therefore giving me a better view of what I can do after I receive that SUNY Geneseo diploma. Hence, (*drumroll please*) a new blog! I figure this would be a good way to just get things out there that need to be sorted out in my life, and maybe I can gather some new advice on situations at hand. Regardless, this blog is for me. I probably won't write very often, and I definitely won't write as much as I am right now, but I'll do whatever is fitting to my own life and my own schedule. It will be incoherent at times (as you may have already noticed), but it's me, and I am a little incoherent anyways.

On that note, it's time to go order my cap and gown. Like I said, the next 43 days are going to be absolutely terrifying. However, like my good friend Jon always says, scared is just another way of saying excited.

Peace and Love.